I started to read this yesterday and I am about halfway done and so far, I have to agree with all that I have read so far. I know very little about Feng Shui, but I do know a little something about clutter and how it can effect one's life.
I am one who lives in a constant battle of trying to maintain a balance. I hate clutter. It makes me feel anxious and uneasy. However, despite that hatred, I am horrible about picking up right away. So what I end up doing is waiting until I hit a breaking point and go on a mass cleaning attack. Sometimes this happens daily, sometimes it takes a bit longer and turns into a weekly thing. However, every time, I vow to pick up right away rather than wasting more time with a mass attack. But... you guessed it, I still dance the dance. The good thing for me is that I am dealing more with things that I (we, as in my family) actually use. It is our daily things that make a mess (like my 5 year old's toys!) and those things actually have a positive energy. This is not to say that I am 100% clutter free, I am not. But I do try and live a more simplistic life, in terms of materialistic things.
Does clutter represent what is going on inside of you?
I can't answer for anyone but myself. The book says it does, and for me, I have to agree. Four years ago after Dale died, I remember having piles and piles of paper around my apartment. I can't even remember where it all came from now. Some was mail, some was paperwork I had to fill out, including bills and such that were Dale's, the others were just old things of Dale's. Besides that pile of papers, I had piles of clothes that would build up weekly since I would deal with all of that only once a week. I told myself it was okay because I had more important things to focus my little energy on like my son and for me, just to survive each day.
Eventually I found that putting all of these papers and piles of clothes on Dale's side of the bed was the best place to keep them for so many reasons. One, everything was in one place and it didn't make the rest of my apartment look embarrassingly awful. Two, and more importantly, I didn't feel the emptiness of his absence in the bed.
Did my clutter represent what was going on inside of me? Absolutely!
Will I loose memories or have regrets if I let go of my clutter/past?
I moved to NYC 8 years ago with Dale and our 2 dogs. We had a fully furnished 2,000 sq. ft. home and moved into a 950 sq. ft. apartment. Where did more than 1/2 of our belongings go? Storage, and we paid a significant amount for that storage space each month.
Two months after Dale's passing, I had the daunting task of going through that 12 X 12 storage unit and getting rid of the majority of my life, or as it had become, my past life. I took as much as I could back to my small apartment... mainly mementos and items of Dale's. The rest? I had a yard sale, and it was painful to watch people buy and try to bargain for your things for prices that stab you in the heart. What didn't sell went to charities. I found that option to be better overall. After dropping them off, I didn't really know what happened to them, but the belief that it went to people who were truly in need (even if it never reached anyone), that belief made it less painful.
Two months later, I went through Dale's closet. If I came across something that I was unsure of, I kept it, everything else, I donated. This was not an easy task, I cried almost the entire time that I was doing it, but it needed to be done.
Do I feel as if I have lost my past or have regrets about letting go of all of those possessions? No.
What if I need something later on?
If you can't go cold turkey, so to say, then take baby steps. In 4 years, I went from a 12 X 12 storage unit to a 5 X 8 extra bedroom. Now, I have a 4 X 6 attic space that I share with John. My first summer task, is to go through that and get rid of even more!
Have I got rid of anything that I needed later on in life? No. There was a reason in the first place most of those items were put away... I didn't use them. If you don't use something over the time span of a year or two, you are probably not going to use them again. And if you are, you probably would want a newer version.
I chose to share my experiences of decluttering around the death of my husband because I think tackling this task around such an extreme circumstance may be one of the hardest. The clutter that I had definitely represented how messy I felt my life was after his death. However, within 6 months, I sorted out and got rid of our possessions from our old home and personal items of Dale's. Did I want to do it? No way! But I could feel it weighing down on me. It was a daunting task. It was extremely difficult and emotional. But once I did it, I felt relieved. I felt lighter. It helped to open the door so that I could move on with my life (when I was finally ready to).
My biggest concern was letting go of something of Dale's that I would regret or want for my son later on. In this case, once something of Dale's was gone, it was gone. There were no more memories to be made. So, when in doubt, I kept it. Over the years, I eventually let go of more things. Now, I feel as if I have a good representation of him to share with my son when the time comes, and I have no regrets.
As for me, this process made me value materialistic possessions far less that what I had. When I moved into my new apartment this past November, I took as few things as I could. Was it difficult to get rid of some of the last few things from my past (like the sofa I got as a wedding present, the armoire I remember carrying into the apartment with Dale in the pouring rain)? Without a doubt it was. But sometime you need to let go of the past so that you can make room for the future and all that is awaiting you. Memories, not possessions, are the treasures that you will take with you wherever you may go.
To be your best and most wondrous and radiant self, you need to start from the inside. For me, de-cluttering was the very first step that I took in the direction that led me to a happy present and a hopeful future.
I am now looking forward to the second half of this book and learning about Feng Shui!
(Perhaps not so ironically, the first chapter in The Happiness Project is all about organization.)
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