The BIG Three

No, no, no... I am not making a This is Us reference.  I am referring to this year's list of "To Do's" before I turn 40.  (Is she still talking about that?  Yes, yes I am!  lol) 

It was about this exact time of year last year when I found out I was picked in the lottery I entered to run the NYC Half-Marathon.  When the reality hit me that I voluntarily signed up to run 13.1 miles, which would take me hours, that's when the idea to create a "To Do" list emerged.

Number 1
So, yes I did run that 1/2 marathon, the day after St. Patrick's Day (One day I will join my Irish hubby and celebrate, this past March was not the year, lol).   And... I kicked ass!!!  I finished that race in 2 hours and wait for it... 22 lousy seconds!!!  UGH!!!  I didn't know.  My watch, the last leg where they posted  meters instead of miles.... I was confused.  Had I known I was SO SO close to that 2 hour mark, I think I could have pushed it to finish under 2 hours, like 1:59:59.  LOL   One thing I do know, I will never run the NYC Half again.  I know I will want to beat that time.  But that is a time I am already very proud of and yes, I'll admit, I am not sure if I can beat it.  So I am going to take it happily and walk away.

P.S.  My goal is to run atleast one half marathon a year.  I am aiming to get into the Brooklyn Half this year!


Number 2
My number two just recently arrived to my in a little black book.  😏  A boudoir session seemed like a necessity to capture me in my last few months in my 30s.  I had always wanted to do it and it was so much fun!  My photographer was awesome (and a high school friend).  I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.  I actually took it at the end of June... I didn't have a summer glow and I wasn't in the best shape.  (I kinda took a 3 month vacation from consistently working out after that half marathon, lol).  But, that was my moment and I am so happy for taking that plunge, in a completely different way than Number 1.

I loved adding accessories!  So much fun!!

P.S.  I plan on doing another session in a couple of years.  I so want my forty something body to kick my 39 year old body's booty!


Number 3
I had a really, really hard time coming up with a third item.  But I felt like there needed to be atleast 3 things.  I didn't want to jump out of a plane, no desire.  I already have tattoos.  So.... I decided to take on an 80 day workout program, The 80 Day Obsession.  I started the day after my son's birthday, September 9 and figured I would end at the end of November.  Well... I didn't take into consideration that its actually 80 days of working out and that one day off a week wasn't counted into that number.  So instead of already being done with the program, I will finish it Saturday, the day before my birthday.  I couldn't have planned it any better, or worse.  Fortunately, I have been healthy for 80+ days and didn't miss a single workout.  The only thing I did was replace a cardio workout with a run a bunch of times to help me train for a few 5Ks I ran during this time.

How do I feel?  I LOVE this program honestly.  After just a couple of weeks, that layer of fat that I felt I was surrounded in seemed to dissipate.  I am leaner and stronger!  I took the diet part in the first month seriously and it went down hill from there, oops.  BUT, working out everyday is no longer a chore I dread.  Its' become part of my nightly routine.  So next week, I plan on continuing to exercise.  If I take too much time off, it will be just like starting all over again and I don't want that.  I am going to relax with some yoga for a week or two and then move on to a more intense program.

In case you are wondering, I workout from home and use Beachbody On Demand.  I love Autumn Calabrese.  I thought I'd hate her and her rock hard ab body, but I don't.  She makes the workouts enjoyable.


So, there you have it.  My Big Three!  It was nothing crazy.   Maybe a bit lame to some.  But all 3 pushed me outside of my comfort zone and towards something that I have never done, but wanted.  I feel healthy and accomplished.  And I am building upon all three in this upcoming year in my new decade.

What about you?  Have you ever had a bucket list of any kind?  I'd love to hear, please share!!!

Ohh Emm Gee... I'm Basically 40!!!

To be honest, I am kind of relieved at this point.  In 5 days, my two years of counting down will finally be over!  That's right, I have been dreading turning the big 4-0 for a long time now and it's so close now, so why not?

Hello, my name is Amy and I am forty years old. 

😂😂😪😪😂😂

Okay, so I am more at peace with this than I was, but to work out the remaining kinks and tribulations, I am going back to what helps me best, writing.  I cannot believe that the last time I posted here was in January!!!  SO much has happened.  SO much.  Coming back to this blog now, so close to the end of 2018 is like a reflection of my whole year.  And what a doozy it was.  But, let's get back to my turning 40.  

So if I celebrated my birthday with my family and friends already, I can't claim my thirties anymore can I?  I guess that's okay because I had an amazing, amazing SURPRISE birthday brunch!!!  Who throws a surprise birthday brunch, my hubby... who happens to know that brunch is my favorite meal of the day.  Too bad it's not a daily occurrence.

But since my party was so awesome and pretty much made it okay to turn 40, I am going to share that story with you all.  😉  Saturday, I ran a Jingle Bell 5K (the same one that one year ago jump started my love-hate relationship with running) with a group of friends from work.  We all met at my apartment since I live across the street from the park that the jog took place in.  We had previously planned on going out to brunch afterwards, but the race day plan found only one runner joining me with another friend who wasn't in the race for brunch a couple of hours after the race.  That didn't make me scratch my head at all though.  LOL

My runner friend suggested we go back to my place after the race to freshen up for our ladies lunch date.  The fact that my husband was awake, showered, dressed and out the door on a Saturday with our son before I got back (it was still the morning) didn't make me scratch my head either.  LOL  I did notice that my friend had a really nice outfit to wear and I thought, "Damn she is being fancy for a hipster joint."  LOL  And I proceeded to pick out an old sweater, jeans, and worn out boots.  I put together an outfit I had never worn before and never will because it was just, eh.   Thank God I put on a necklace.  LOL  She insisted on driving and we were off!

After circling the joint for a while, hello parking in Brooklyn on an Saturday afternoon, we finally found a spot and were about 10 minutes late joining our friend, who miraculously arrived early.  That should have made me scratch me head, LOL, she is never early.  Well, as we proceeded to walk up the stairs (me first as insisted upon by my friend) to the party room, which I was fully aware of since I checked this place out for my son's communion party, 🙈, I got about half-way up and stopped.  Not because it finally hit me, LOL, no, no, no..  Because I thought we were interrupting someone else's party!!!

Well, the first people I saw were my sister and my niece who live 8 hours away!  That's when it FINALLY  hit me!!!  Duh!  

My husband had orchestrated a surprise birthday brunch party a week before my actual birthday with the help of those two awesome friends.  My parents, my brother and sister and their families were all there!!!  They drove 8 hours from Buffalo to spend a day with me.  😅 My in-laws were there as were my closest work friends.  I was absolutely surprised and absolutely touched.  It is not often that the people I care about most are all in the same room together.  That's a downfall for not living close to family.  So when they all are (and it's not a funeral) it is amazingly awesome... as is my husband.  💖💝  He got me good.  They all did!  The effort, the thoughtfulness, the smiles... they all made me feel so special and loved.  

I don't think I'd mind turned 40 again.  In fact, every year after this one, I am absolutely positive I will forever feel that way!  LOL  

The Solace in Running

First off, let me just say that I am not a runner.  In my entire adulthood (let's call it 20 years), I have gone for a run when I was extremely bored with any other type of workout, when I had brief inspirations of wanting to be a runner, or just to check-in on my fitness level every so often just to see if I could still run x amount of miles in x amount of time like I was able to x years before.

This past summer I ran my first 5K just for the fun of it and just because I knew that I could do it without little to no training.  What I found was that the whole race experience was really cool and added some flavor to just running on my own.  I liked it so much that I decided to sign up for a Jingle Bells 5K Run in December, which was even more fun (and festive)!  Again, I knew that I could run a 5K without any training, especially since my goal was just to simply complete the race and to do it in under 30 minutes (since I know that I am capable of that too).  I placed no pressure or exertion on myself other than having to wake up and run first thing in the morning and the risk of poor weather.  (P.S.  It was in the 40's for the Jingle Bell Run!!!  A perfect running day!!!)

Fast forward two months... I am in the midst of training for a half-marathon!!!  I turned 39 in December and quite honestly, I am having some issues with turning the big 4-0.  So back in December, I signed up for the NYC Half Marathon Lottery with the intention of doing something big before I turned forty and also knowing in the back of my head that I wouldn't get picked.  Well... I did get picked.   And I didn't know if I should have cheered or cried when I got that e-mail.  I think I did both, lol.

I immediately found a training program to follow (Hal Higdon's) and I just finished week 6 of my training.   What does week 6 of half marathon for the beginner entail?  Well, my two short runs for the week were 4 miles and my long run was 6 miles.  I did my long run yesterday and it was a gorgeous 50 degree sunny day.  I've been lucky, the weekend before was mild for a NYC January and I ended up running 6.5 miles instead of the 6.  So yesterday I had to push myself further and I ended up running 6.75 miles in just over 62 minutes!  For the first time ever, I ran two laps inside of Prospect Park in Brooklyn!

It's taken 6 weeks to for me to run just half of what I will do in exactly 8 weeks from today!  When I look at it that way it seems daunting.  However, if I look at how my ability to run long distance has tremendously improved in only 6 weeks, I am amazed.  The thought of running 4 miles before was uncomfortable, but doable.  Anything beyond that was just crazy talk!  But now, those distances are becoming my short runs!!

*      *      *      *      *      *

The solace in running...

Despite the option of having running partner(s), running is essentially a solo sport.  I am a lone trainer and along with finding triumph in achieving my weekly goals, I have also found solace in running.  

I am running 45-60+ minutes each time I go out for a run now.  That's a lot of alone time with nothing other than myself and my thoughts.  What do I think about when I run?  Honestly, I am so focused on what I need to do that I am not daydreaming or stressing about what I should or could or need to be doing... I am truly in the moment.  (Last year at this time I was taking a mindful mediation class to me refocus and find that in the moment appreciation and living.  Who knew I just needed to go for a run, a long run!)

As I said in the opening, I am not a runner.  Even now, I am still not a runner.  I am a woman with a goal in mind.  If I continue to run after that half-marathon, then maybe I will consider myself a runner, but until then, I am not.  So, because I am not a runner and it doesn't come naturally to me, the majority of my thoughts while running are "keep going," "you got this," "one foot in front of the other," "just keep going," and "you're almost done!"  LOL... it's all motivational.  I have too, otherwise I don't think I would ever make it.  So essentially, I am telling myself nothing but positive, uplifting, and motivational things for an hour straight!!  Do you know how awesome that is?!?!?  

I've also learned to listen to my body.  I listen to my breathing.  I listen to my heartbeat.  I listen to the tightness in my legs or the soreness in my feet.  I have to pay attention to what my body is telling me.  (Our bodies are so smart and they communicate too, we just need to pay attention and listen.)  When I hit that wall and I want to quit... I ask myself do I want to quit because I am feeling out of breath and I might faint?  Do I want to quit because I am not in the mood to run?  Or do I just need to bust through this wall knowing that I will feel better in just a few minutes?  (I'll only stop for the first one.)  Sometimes my legs tighten up and I pay attention to that too.  Can I wiggle it out between steps?  Is it loosening up with each step?  Or do I need to pull over and stretch out?  I never used to think it was okay to stop before (like I was cheating or wimping out) but now, if I need to stretch out that hamstring or anything else, without hesitation I will.  

I'm so busy listening and talking to myself (LOL... weirdo) that I don't run with headphones anymore.  I never thought that was possible!  I realized I didn't need them when one day I went out for a run and about 30 minutes later I realized that my iPod was on repeat and I had been listening to the same song for about 3 miles.  Yah, LOL.  So in between the "conversations" that I am having with myself, I enjoy the sounds of nature that I take in for brief moments more so than parts of a song from my play list.  

So just in case you don't think that I am weird enough, sometimes I have a "This is Us" moment while running.  Sometimes I pep talk myself so much, that I get emotional.  Yes, I have teared up while running.  It's such an awesome feeling when you accomplish something that you hate and especially when the process is so focused and so entirely you.  I just hope that I use up the tears that well up when I think about crossing that half marathon finish line so that I when I actually do, I'll only look like half of a hot mess.  

Does anyone have any running stories or any experiences similar to this?  Please tell me I am not the only one!!!