A Reflection and a Purpose

Today marks the end of first full month for me as a Lemongrass Consultant and I wanted to take a moment post to reflect on this new venture of mine.  This is not only my way of organizing my thoughts through reflection, but to also share what I have done that makes me feel good about my inner self as well.

First off, I have spent lots of money.  But in a good way.  A fun way.  When I signed up with Lemongrass Spa it only cost $99 for a package full of samples to introduce myself to more products and to share with others during my spa parties.  I could have got by with just that, atleast to begin with, but when I really set my mind to something, like really, I like to go right at it.  I wanted to add more products to my sample kit, so I did.  I wanted to create an ambiance at my parties, so I bought glass jars, lemons, baskets, and even a lemongrass candle.  I've always wanted business cards, so I created those and had a blast doing so on Vista.  I bought some other essentials like soaking tubs and towels.  I bought little jars for samples.  I bought the cutest clipboards and colorful pens.  I have found Picmonkey and have become addicted to creating posters and banners because its so much fun!  Yes... I was/am that person and I enjoyed every bit of it!  That's part of the beauty of this, I have complete control as to how I want to present myself and my business.  It's such a fantastic and liberating feeling!

After buying and testing out a few items myself, I came to quickly realize how much I truly love the Lemongrass Products.  I use LGS products almost exclusively.  Facial cleansing, makeup, deodorant, bug spray, sunscreen... just about everything now.  There are some products that I absolutely love and there are some that are no better or worse from any other that I have used except... I know that LGS is safe and healthy for me to use.  I may not notice it in that instance, but in the long run choosing chemical and toxic free products is the better choice.  I almost feel dirty now when I use regular soap.  I feel guilty when I use the last of the old sunscreen on my son.  So I guess you could say I have been converted (and that I have splurged!)  And you know what, I am worth it!

I have probably had the most fun however with giveaways!  I have given quite a bit away for free.  Part of it has been to introduce people to Lemongrass Spa.  The other part is that it just truly feels good to do so.  I feels good introducing (mainly) women to a healthier alternative to products that they and their families use on a daily basis.  And although the products are more expensive than picking up something from Walmart, it really is not that much more.  The products are reasonably priced and worth the extra cost in the safety benefits.  I was a single mom for almost 4 years, I know how tight money can be, so finding an affordable product was very high up on my list.  It's not about the money.

It can be a tricky thing though... getting to people.  My friends have been great in supporting me and buying products.  So far they all seem to love them, which is fantastically reaffirming to me.  Social media is helpful as well in contacting people that I know, but do not see on a daily basis.  (I am actually holding a virtual Facebook party on Tuesday!)  Although I am finally starting to learn how to use Facebook as a business and its limitations.  In July I will start to expand out to family (next time I see them) and that is exciting.  But in the meantime, I need to be brave and bold and introduce myself to others out there... neighbors, parents that I meet through my son, etc.   I am not that outgoing and that is going to be a stretch.  I will need to step outside of my box even further.  At the same time, I should be prepared for some slow times and when they come... I need to take a deep breath and continue on.  Stay positive.  Stay focused.  And just enjoy the ride for as long as I want to stay on for!

Although I have stated that this is not about the money, there is money involved and I have been making it.  It's what I have chosen to do with it that has made this venture feel intrinsically rewarding.  I have used my money earned to help buy and use products that are safe and healthy for myself and my family.  I have used it to buy samples and full sized products to send and share with others.  I have used it to donate to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  I have used it to help create and grow a business that can support the first three.  That makes me happy.  It's not just about me.  It's not just about my family.  It's about others as well and playing a small part in hopefully making a difference in someone else's health.  

I have to admit that I feel like being a Lemongrass Consultant feels more like a hobby than a business.  I am enjoying it that much.  I have found a positive purpose in doing this crazy thing called direct sales, something I never ever thought I would do.  

Beauty Tips from a Legend

Audrey Hepburn will forever be known for her beauty.  Her elegance and her fashion sense was iconic.  Her outer beauty may have even outshone her inner beauty for anyone who was or even is unaware of the her selfless work as a humanitarian.  I have been inspired to learn more about this woman who seemed to have captured and emulated what it means to possess both inner and outer beauty and have decided to read her biography over the summer.  I'd like to leave you with this quote, which is what inspired this post to begin with.

4

One thing that I have learned in the past 4 years, is to take each day as they come and to be grateful for each one.  That is not to say that there are not particular days that I look forward to more than others, but there aren't any days that I dread either.  I don't wish or count my days away.  Except... for one.

This past Sunday, marked that it has been 4 years since Dale has left us.  There is a part of me that cannot believe that it has been that long already.  Yet, there is another part of me that feels as if it has already been a lifetime ago.  It seems so long since I have heard his voice or have seen his smile.  So long.  However, May 17 is not the day that I would wish away.  What I came to realize that very first year is that it is the day before that is the worst.  May 16.  That was the very last day and for that, I cannot help but to carry an especially heavy heart on that day.

I am now on my 5th year of being a widow.  I'm no longer a rookie or a newbie.  I am a seasoned veteran.  I have been removed far enough from that initial shock and wound to where I no longer feel defined by being a widow as I once have.

Looking back on that first year, it seems surreal.  It took time to digest the reality of what had happened.  My head was swimming with thoughts and questions... trying to make sense of it all.  Fortunately for me, I had my son.  I had to get up and out of bed every day because there was someone who needed me.  I realized that the best thing that I could possibly do for my son was to be healthy myself and that first year, that is what I did.  I focused on myself.  I was broken and lost.  Bit by bit, I started to find some old and some new pieces of me and put myself back together again.  My 20 month year old son needed to be fed, bathed, given attention to, and loved.  He was not denied a single one of those needs while I fully admit, I put a strong priority on myself.  I feel no shame nor guilt in that because making myself better made me a better mom... A healthy and happy mom and I was able to accomplish and take care of both of our needs (without sacrificing his) because of that.

The first anniversary was very hard.  Everything was a countdown.  The memories and events were so fresh in my head that I relived the hell from the previous year all over again.  As soon as May 1st hit, it was like everything else stopped.  I dreaded May 17 and wished that I could just wake up and find that it was May 18.  I would have sacrificed a day out of each year so that I wouldn't have to relive the 17th... until the 16th came.  That is when I realized that it was his last day that was the hardest to get over.  So many questions... Was it planned?  Did he know?  What did he wear?  Do you bother to take a shower that day?  What did he eat?  Did he eat?  Stupid irrelevant questions that just overtook my mind.  The worst and the one that I have diverted my attention from every time it has come to mind are those last moments.  Trying to imagine what he was feeling.  Trying to understand what he was thinking.  Those thoughts are tough enough now 4 years later and I still push them away.  Four years ago, I couldn't go there at all.  I was afraid to fall into their pit.

The second year was about feeling alive.  It was about rediscovery and experiencing life as I wanted to.  As I wanted.  It took a great deal of acceptance... of myself and of my past to begin the process of letting go in order to truly start to move on.  It was with acceptance and ownership that I was able to take control of my life.  With a growing confidence I began to trust my gut and began to develop a keener sense of what felt right, of what was right... for me.

When the second anniversary approached, I did my best to carry on.  Life didn't stop with the beginning of May.  It only did for those two dreadful days.  I also tried not to relive all of the events that occurred prior to his death.  It didn't help.  It just made me feel awful.  There are certain memories that you cherish and treasure.  There are others that are better left to let go, as best as you can.  And that's okay.

The third year was about feeling beautiful.  I had worked so hard to become a person that I liked, a person that I was proud to be... and I wanted my exterior to compliment my interior.  I was back in the world of dating by then.  A world which was completely foreign to me and how you physically present and represent yourself is important.  I know that it was important to me when I met men as well.  It's not shallow.  It's... reality.  So for me, I started with my physique.  I tried p90x and felt fantastic when I finished.  My body felt great and I was super proud of myself for completing the 90 day workout plan (even though it took me a bit longer, lol).  I began to pay more attention to things like my hair and even went on a shopping spree at Sephora because I was in desperate need of learning how to do makeup!  It was fun!  The best part... I didn't do this mini-makeover for anyone else but me.  I chose the color hair I wanted, the clothes that I felt my best in, the makeup that made me feel beautiful, and worked out for the figure that I wanted.  When you make choices in that way, for yourself, and not to impress some guy or to try and be someone other than yourself, it works.  It is another way of finding yourself.  When you are the person that you want to be both on the inside and the outside (imperfections included and accepted) then you are whole.  This is the year that I met John.

I had been dating John for 6 months when the 3rd anniversary approached.  It was extremely difficult.  Because I had someone in my life and was moving on in the most difficult and intimate of ways, I felt as if I were saying goodbye all over again.  I had felt a tremendous amount of guilt... guilt for moving on, guilt for being happy, and guilt for being alive and having the chance to do all of that.  I cried more on the third year date than I did on the second.  The day after the anniversary date, I woke up and I felt as if a weight had been lifted.  It was a new day.  It was sunny and peaceful and with a deep breath, I took it all in, every bit of it.

This past year, my fourth, had its ups and downs and for that it was mentally exhausting.  My relationship with John developed.  He became a constant in both my life and in my son's.  This past November, we moved in together.  I continued my goodbyes by moving out of the apartment that I shared with Dale.  I let go many of my material things that I had collected and accumulated over the years with Dale.  I had to pick and choose what to save for my son and what to save for myself.  It was a very difficult process.  I had many dreams during this time.   Dreams that helped me feel more at ease and well as dreams that freaked me out.  In the end, once the move was complete, the dreams stopped and my mind found peace once again.

This past weekend marked the 4th year without Dale.  Unlike all the rest, it wasn't just a quiet day spend alone with my son.  I live with someone now.  My parents were also in visiting this weekend and staying with us.  There was no time or place to escape and as someone who appreciates and sometimes craves that alone time, I struggled without it.  Life went on as normally as it possible could this past weekend.  For the first time in 4 years, it didn't stop.  Perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing.  I guess that is how it should be.  Never forgotten, but it shouldn't be a day that I wish away.   May 17, 2011... that is the day on the death certificate.  That day will never come again.  I may very well see 50 or more May 17ths in my lifetime.  That is 50 days!  Fifty days is entirely too may to wish away.  You realize how precious time is when you experience a great loss.  Especially when just a mere 50 seconds of seeing that person again would be more than priceless.

Year 5... Who knows what this year will bring, I am just happy to be a part of it.

Pathways

There is nothing more freeing than taking ownership over your own life and making choices based on what you feel in your gut and what you believe in.  Even if the choices that you make don't end up working out the way that you would have planned or hoped, there is great value in knowing that you followed your own heart rather than an expectation imposed upon you.  I believe that is so empowering that even if you stumble, you are less likely to give up on finding the path that is just right for you.  Freedom is fierce!

Learning to trust my gut is a skill that I only recently obtained myself.  It's hard to weed out all of the other factors and influences... some can be so convincing!  But if you can honestly say that you know yourself, trust yourself, and believe in yourself... you're in.  It doesn't matter if you cannot see where the path is taking you.  As long as you can keep your head up and continue to put one foot in front of the other, you cross paths with the fun and adventure that awaits you along the way.  And when life decides to balance itself out and you find yourself in some tough times, I believe it is easier to accept what needs to be accepted, to deal with what needs to be dealt with, and to take what it is worth and continue to keep putting one foot in front of the other when your mind and your heart are in the right place.  A good place.  A healthy place.

I think that it is fair for me to say that I have recently begun a new chapter in my life.  I am not sure where this new path will lead me... what adventures and opportunities will come of it.  All that I do know is that it fees right.  I trust in that and that brings such a sense of comfort and peace.  And excitement!!

When did you choose a path that just felt right?  Did it work out the way you planned?  Did it lead to something better or unexpected?  Please share!!  :)

Finding Comfort

Last year at this time, I happened upon this quote and it gave me such solace.  This is a difficult time of year for me.  This Sunday, May 17th, marks that it has been 4 years since Dale left us.  During the course of the past 4 years, I have told myself many things to help keep my head above the water.  I've never veered off the path of reality for I don't believe that would help.  But I have laid out both my faith and hope in hopes of gaining peace and comfort.  To be completely honest, I am not sure what happens after we die and I am not up for getting into theories and religion right now either.  What I do know is that when I found this quote last year, it made me tear up immediately, for I want nothing more to believe that it is true.  I will never truly know if it is or not, but the want and the need to believe that it is possible makes the harsh reality of Dale's death a bit more bearable.  For that, I am grateful and hope too that someone else reading this will find that same solace in reading this as we have all lost someone that we loved dearly.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size.

But when I start to tell them, 

They think I'm telling lies.

I say, 

It's in the reach of my arms, 

The span of my hips, 

The stride of my step, 

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman,

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman, 

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please, 

And to a man, 

The fellows stand or 

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me, 

A hive of honey bees.

I say, 

It's the fire in my eyes, 

And the flash of my teeth, 

The swing in my waist, 

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman 

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman, 

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them, 

They say they still can't see.

I say, 

It's in the arch of my back, 

The ride of my breasts, 

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman, 

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing, 

It ought to make you proud.

I say, 

It's in the clicks of my heels, 

The bend of my hair, 

The palm of my hand, 

The need for my care.

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.  

Phenomenal woman, 

That's me.

~Maya Angelou

                                                       

Operation Freedom Feet

This year marks Lemongrass Spa's 8th annual Freedom Feet Campaign.  Freedom Feet Kits are foot spa kits that are sent to women (and men) who are either stationed domestically or overseas.  It's a way to show them our appreciation for their service to our country.  We can all use a little pampering and relaxation, especially when you are on your feet 18 hours a day!!

For every 10 kits that are sold, Lemongrass Spa will donate one.  This year's goal is to send our 2,000.  My personal goal is to purchase 5 kits.  For each spa party that is booked with me, I will purchase a kit (up to 5 kits).  So far I have had 3 bookings and would love to have at least 2 more before the campaign is over (July 31, 2015).

If you would like to make a nominal donation or purchase an entire kit for $24 (shipping and tax included) to send to someone that you know in the service or to a random recipient, please contact me for more details.

Thank you!

Living a Happy Life

Has anyone heard of or read The Happiness Project?  It came out about 6 years ago and it's a book/guide that focuses on a different topic each month for a whole year.  These topics are meant to help you polish up your life and make you more appreciative for what you have and to improve upon the areas that are lacking or bothersome so that they no longer influence you in a way that takes away from what is important and what essentially makes you happy.

I have attempted The Happiness Project three times over the past few years.  Shamefully, I have never finished.  The closest I got was to get to month six.  I am not sure why I was never able to finish.  It's actually a really good book, with lots of great ideas.  What I did accomplish, did make me feel... happy!  I wasn't planning on it, but now that I have written what I have so far on this post, it is making me think that perhaps I should attempt this project one more time.  Fourth time is a charm!?!?!?! ;)

The reason why I wanted to dedicate this post to The Happiness Project  is because one of the things that the author, Gretchen Rubin, did in the beginning of her book was to create a list of 12 "commandments."  I really liked the idea of creating a list of thoughts that I truly believe.  I also like the idea of sharing those thoughts out loud, whether verbally or in written form.  It is then that they become alive.  Below is my list of 12.  I made this list over three years ago and to this day, I have not changed one.  I love my list.  It's me.  And when I am able to truly follow them, I am... happy!

So here it is, my list...

1.  Trust your gut.

2.  Surround yourself with good people.

3.  Let go.

4.  Smile.

5.  Live in and enjoy the moment.

6.  You are stronger than you think you are.

7.  Find beauty in the small.

8.  Hold your head high, with confidence and grace.

9.  There are always two sides.

10.  Share your thoughts with tact and dignity.

11.  Just be.

12.  If you always choose the rational, you may miss out on the extraordinary.


I challenge you to create your own list.  I'd love for you to share at least one of your own personal words of how you live in a way that makes you feel happy.