"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
and Live like it's Heaven on earth."
William Purkey
Four years ago I saw what hell was like through the eyes of my husband as I watched his mental illness take over his mind like a cancer. On May 17, 2011 he freed himself of all of his pain and the hell that his mind created and left me a widow with our 20 month year old son. That is when hell came knocking at my door.
The pain, confusion, and utter sadness was overwhelming and the struggle to keep that door closed was very real. Fortunately for me, I was somehow able to find that everything that I needed to help get me through that horrific and unfathomable time in my life was always right there.
I had everything that I needed because it was all in my mind. In in the midst of all of the darkness I was able to grab on to the little bit of light that glimmered through and I have my son to thank for that. A twenty month year old child is full of wonder. They are experiencing life for the very first time and to them everything, even the most simplest of things, is new and exciting and amazing. At the age of 32, I found myself rebuilding a new life from the one that was shattered and what better and more genuine way to find a new appreciation for life than with and through the eyes of your own child.
Hope grows if you feed it and at first it was about survival. Books, quotes, blogs, photography, songs... were all things that I used to help keep me afloat. However, along the road of rebuilding a life and rediscovery I came to the conclusion that if we, as humans, are capable of creating a hell here on earth, then we are certainly capable of creating our own version of heaven. And that is what I have chosen to do.
At the age of 36, I can honestly say that I am living the life that I want to live. It is empowering. It is invigorating. It is amazing. It is happiness inside and out. It is living. I'd also like to think of it as a gift, one that is truly priceless for no amount of anything could ever make up for all that was lost and all that I had been through to get to this point.
Where there is an ending, there is a beginning. Life is about changing, growing, learning, loving, finding passions, and taking risks. This is where and why this blog and my new endeavor falls into place for me. It's time. It's time for me to step outside of my shell that has so diligently taken care of me and helped me to heal and to enter back into the world.
I am no stranger to the blogging world. But openly sharing my story with others, many of whom I may know in some capacity is foreign to me. I am also about to embark on something that I have never, ever, ever foresaw myself doing. Not only am I trying giving direct sales a try, but as a Lemongrass Spa Consultant, I am selling skin and beauty care products. What? Why?
This blog is not about my story. I have shared it because it makes me who I am and is what has led to where I am today and why I am so inspired. This blog is my way of sharing things that I have learned along the way to finding my own inner glow in hopes that others will share their own radiance as well in order to help those who are still searching. There is nothing more powerful than recognizing our own beauties from within... except to share it out.
We all each possess an outer glow too. And just as we all need and deserve to take care of our minds and our bodies from the inside, it is just as important to take care of them from the outside. This means so much more than a pretty face and a number on the scale. There are so many avenues that can be taken with this. I will share fitness and healthy eating tips on this blog as well, but my focus will be mainly on the Lemongrass Spa products. I have decided to step outside of my comfort zone and try something new because I found something that I believe in. I have found a company that sells products to help us take care of our bodies on the outside as genuinely and naturally as I will share on how to take care of our selves from within.
Sometimes it is hard to admit. Sometimes it is hard to see. But when life decides to reveal itself, it does seem that things really do happen for a reason. I feel very fortunate and happy that I will be using a percentage of what I earn as a Lemongrass Spa Consultant to donate to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It is time to end the stigma against mental illnesses. We are all beautiful and life is worth living.
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